Tuesday, February 19, 2008

10 Questions I Would Like to Ask the Religious Right

There is about 10 questions I would love to ask the evangelic Christian right wing conservatives, or even ask just and “Christian” conservative that still supports the current administration, or any like minded candidates. Questions that relate directly to the contridictions between what they believe and what Jesus "Christ" taught.


Like most good things, a decent point/ question requires some preliminary perspective. Kind of like every conversation has to start with a “hello, how are you?” Most of the time whoever you are debating with won’t let you get a long set up to a question out. But if I could My first question would go like this.


I once had the pleasure of watching a guy hand roll cigars. He had a jig that was a piece of wood with hole in affixed off to the side, as he rolled each cigar he would drop it through the hole. Most, he would set in a pile to be moved to the packing table. Some would drop through and he would put them in a separate basket. Some would not fit through the hole and those would go into the same separate basket. I asked a friend of mine about the separated cigars and he said, “They are called seconds. If they are too narrow or rolled too thick they are considered rejects and sold at a reduced rate.” I said, “you mean a cigar can actually be too big to be perfect?” So here is a guy who is a master at what he does. It wouldn’t shock me to hear that this guy had rolled a million cigars in his lifetime. Yet he still needed a test to ensure they are exactly what he is looking for.
So, my Conservative Christian colleagues, the first question for you is this.

1) Do you think that God has a test hole for his creations?


I do. Not only do I think it but logic and the bible documents it. I believe that if there is a God, the living dimension that we exist in is that testing ground. (It is also why even though I live my life guided by the teachings of Jesus Christ; as the worlds only agnostic Christian, I am still going to Hell when I pass on.) I believe “life” as we know it is the hole where we are sent through to see if we are worthy to get into heaven. Sure god is the master, but the inherent flaw in his creation is “free will”. He saw he had problems with it when he created Lucifer.

2) I think if I simplify what I just said by saying, “We are all sent here as a test to see if we are worthy to get into heaven.” Do you agree?


I think I still got most religious minded people. I think I still keep you when I say, “God is testing your faith in him.” Now for the twist. I talked about the next part in the post “Jesus Would Never Get Elected and Heaven is Run By a Communist Government” Here is where I might loose some of you. I do not believe Jesus’ primary mission was the forgiveness of all our sins. No where in the bible does it say he was sent her “to forgive our sins” Let us face it. If the almighty wanted to forgive us, he could just wave his hand and do it. Then it would be “on to the next day, forget about it.”

However. I believe that Jesus’ main mission was to demonstrate how to live communally and how to demonstrate how to prove faith in his father at death. Let us take one step back to where we both agree that this is a test.


3)What would “God” be testing you for? What qualities is it that he is looking for that would be required for you to live in eternal peace and happiness with all of heaven's other residents. Doesn't it make sense that he is testing to see if you are an asshole?

If heaven is to be this peaceful and tranquil eternal experience, wouldn't it make sense he needs a way to filter out the aggressive, selfish, self-important, weak willed trouble makers.


Now that I got you kind of thinking I might be on to something, wrestle with this thought. So God had tried a bazillion things throughout the millenniums to teach us humans the skills and qualities required to get along with each other in peace and harmony for eternity. It was all to no avail. He talked to the first people and told them what they had to do, and they didn't listen. So he moved on to hard love. Then he flooded the world and again they didn't listen. He dammed them with diseases, droughts, and plagues of insects and still they didn't listen. Still through the gates of heaven passed few, and to the “seconds basket” of Hell went many. Then he shook off his conservative roots and thought, “maybe it is my fault that my children don't understand. Maybe because I was never there to show them the way, they have never been taught the proper way to act, the truth.”


4) do you believe that Jesus was sent to bring a “new way” that was different then the old testament. So far you have to admit this jives with all of your Christian historic teachings. teachings. Adam and Eve, Moses, then finally a new way. A “New testament” that reflected a huge change in God's attitude.


Well he is God and can't actually come down to earth, so he has to send a piece of himself. Himself in his human form. On to earth came Jesus. As human as God could get. Again this still jives with all the biblical teaching. So Jesus shows up on the scene to say, “No, revenge, hate, greed, lust, and self obsessed importance is wrong!” An eye for an eye is out, and “turn the other cheek” is the new way. Jesus came to say that, “God had been wrong in the past and because of it he forgives all sins and with his death a new day will dawn.” He says he is here to show you the way to heave is through self restraint, tolerance and ultimately sacrifice. He was even going to demonstrate it by allowing his enemies to torture and kill him. Give up all your wealth, power, and humble yourself. Only in this way can his father believe that you have faith in him and trust him to give you a better place in the next world. Your death is the hole in which God test you one last time. If you are selfish a-hole in the time of death, how can he trust you won't be one when you get to paradise? After all he created you with free will, I would assume that doesn't go away after you cross into the other detention.


As proof to this train of though I offer you Jesus' death. He didn't go on a rampage and kill all of those people that had wronged him or “God's Chosen people”. He didn't call an army of arch angels to cleans the world of non-believers. (thank god or who would we have to kill today) He didn't even save himself. He let them nail him to a cross. Even though he had the power to shed the nails and caste a shadow of revenge on his persecutors that would haunt them throughout the rest of history. He simply accepted his fate. Why, because he had faith that his master and his father truly had something better waiting for him on the other side. He believed that there was nothing, not a wrong unrighted, a death unavenged, a dollar not earned, an unhonored right that could keep him from that what he truly in his heart believed. Eternal paradise.


5) What point do you think god was trying to make by having his only son, flesh and blood, the most powerful human to ever live, accept a torturous and painful death? Why not let him lash out at his persecutor and kill them all in a display of his father's might and power?


To me there can only be one answer to that question. God wanted Jesus to demonstrate for all of his other children the amount of restraint and tolerance required to make the cut to get into heaven. Jesus was still a man, with free will all that makes us human. His level of understanding of faith is akin to Einsteins understanding of Physics, I respect each of them equally for their strengths. Unfortunately I understand each subject equal to their level. This description even offers an explanation of disease, catastrophes, old age, and just about any other approach to death you encounter. The dying get to prove themselves, and the living are offered challenges to prove they are worthy to enter into paradise once up for their final approach.

Question 6) For the right, and all Christians, is where are the holes in this theory? Can you document them with biblical passages?


Question 7) when your are standing at the proverbial “Heavens gates” how will you justify your acceptance into paradise? How will you explain your, “kill them all”, “nuke 'em all”, I am protecting mine, “the poor are all lazy”, “they all look like terrorist”, lustful, intolerant, revenge driven , animalistic nature? How will you explain that you heard Jesus' words but did none of what he instructed? What proof will you have that when you enter those pearly gates that you won't be a flaming asshole that will disrupt the peace and harmony because of something that you perceive is an insult?


Question 8) Can you name one person In Iraq or Iran that you know threatened your life or the life of your family? I do not mean that some agent of the government told you they did. We have seen the falsities presented by this Administration since day one.


Question 9) Is a simple math word problem. If to arrogant violent bastards are in a room together, what are the chances that a fight will eventually erupt over the coarse of eternity? If you put one hemp rope wearing pacifist and a gun toting “don't tread on me” patriot in a room together, how long before the “patriot” got sick of hearing the “hippies” weak ideologies and just shoots him? Last, how long do you think two far left “make love not war” liberals could sit together, given an endless supply of skunk weed, and discuss the finer parts of conservation? In the end, one asshole spoils the whole party.


Last question 10) If God is testing you to see if you are worthy of getting into his eternal commune, What would he say about the undying support for an administrations who used lies, deception, and greed driven profit to encourage a war against a people who had no ill intent towards the U.S and its citizens? Saying, “but I didn't think they were lies.” in the face of so much evidence probably isn't going to buy you any favor. God's assumption would have to be if you were so easily bamboozled that you might bee too easily corrupted once in heaven. If an ever changing reason to kill a leader for using weapons the the US once supplied him wasn't enough. If the “no-bid” contracts to companies affiliated to the administration wasn't clear. If the destruction of a family made up of two people who had dedicated their lives to ensuring the US national security in order to save face wasn't enough. If you can be so easily tricked by the shallow parlor tricks, what makes you think your a strong enough sole to enter the gates of eternal peace?


For me it is a good thing I don't commit believe in any of that crap. My reasons are driven by a plan the was presented by the man that would just make good sense if enacted right here and now in the land of the living. Simply if we all stop fighting and killing each other we could have heaven here on earth. As the worlds only agnostic Christian, I believe Jesus had a great plan, just not certain if he was the “son of God”. His way is the only way to accomplish the ultimate human goal. That is to leave the world a better place then when you entered it.

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