So I am going to have to go over the last couple of post and make sure that there isn’t anything that isn’t clear. A feat that should take a couple of days. This very blog is about the search for truth. It is about cutting through all the bullshit, and asking, “Why was this law created?” “Why did society develop this moral value?” “How do you rationalize such as a school shooting or a mother killing her baby occur in today’s advanced community.” “Why did this political or social event not jibe with logic?” This is not a commercial endeavor for me, but a hobby. It is therapy for my endlessly wondering mind. Expressing these, usually researched, perspectives is what this place is about. I am an open and honest person who likes to share my observations with people who invite me to do so.
So as a disclosure, the opinions expressed here are my own and nobody else’s. As always I invite people to comment, debate, and try to convince me of my error of thought. Everything I say I believe to be true. In relationship to my personal situations everything I say and do is passed through a gambit of reasoning. Of which the first two “I love my child, so is what I am about to say danger or damaging to my child in any way shape or form?” the second is “I love my wife (estranged wife, ex-wife, or whatever the appropriate title is these days) is what I am about to say or do dangerous to the physical or emotional well being of my wife.” You can look over the post of the past 2 years and find that the answers to those questions are a “no”. If you know me, you can look over my actions and find the same answer.
So it seems that “The Divorce Chronicles” might actually be in violation of the divorce decree. It will have to wait till after this thing is settled. I have been writing here for 2 years. It is part of my normality. I am loosing a very important part of my life, but I do not have to, or intend to, loose everything. Writing my thoughts here has become a part of who I am. After all, according to my brother, back in October at the family weekend, my wife said, “(LOL) is the perfect husband, I couldn’t be happier. I just wish he didn’t spend so much time blogging.” Hey it was election season and Palin was way too close to being leader of the free world for my comfort. I have the ACLU on speed dial for anyone wanting to stop my right to freedom of speech.
In the end all of these recent post are just an extension of what they have always been, but on a more personal level. It is the quest of a man searching for the answer of how he could be told he was “the greatest husband in the world”, “the greatest father ever” and how a woman says, “she couldn’t be happier” and “our daughter deserves a sibling” to being hated and emotionally traumatized by the same person only a week later. At the very least, the person I came to know over those 12 years would have chose a more honorable way to end this. This series has been a search to resolve the question, “what if”. What if I am right about this situation being identical to those stories I found? What if it is cause by the same thing that the 50 other people have contacted me saying, they “did the same thing when under the influence of the Prozac.” “What if my wife did listen and take a couple of month break from the SSRI?” What if my daughter could stop screaming, “don’t leave me daddy” every time I walk out the door? What if I could get my family back? I can’t make this a reality for myself, but what f I touch some reader out there about to go through the same thing? Even if I am wrong, there are hundreds of stories out there that this would be a reality. Of course the drug companies call this 1/10 of 1%. A small figure unless you are one of them.
I would also like to say “Thank you” to the anonymous contributor who said many of the things that my wife would have said in the “comments” section of the “Personal story” post. Through her I got to have a pseudo conversation that i would have wanted to have with my wife. I would only add to my comments that there was nothing that was wrong that should have been a deal breaker. Her complaints were about physical attraction, a known problem with Prozac. I started this relationship asking her why she would be with me as I was the self proclaimed “ugliest man alive”. This situation only confirms what I had always assumed. I still managed to produce one beautiful child. And why now after 12 years does this all the sudden make a difference? Unfortunately, not something that I think anybody but my wife could answer though I guess.
Thanks for reading, now back to at least the “logic” part of logic and politics.