Friday, May 30, 2008

Mother Natured Charged With Discrimination

Mother Nature has been summoned to court to answer charges of discrimination. In a stunning move brought by the UN under pressure from the US and it's well paid allies, charges have been formally leveled against her.  Just some of the things Nature has been accused of are that poor people often suffer greater mortality rates to curable diseases. She will have to answer tough questions about why she refuses to compensate people who can’t afford to buy life saving drugs and are often the ones to die because of it. Some say Ms. Nature considers poor and hungry people to be weak and inferior to their wealthier counterparts. She stands accused of conducting genetic experiments on the poor using mass breeding and intolerable environments to see who will survive.  Some of these people have even had genetic mutations (such as opposable thumbs) as a result.

    Obese people are often targeted for heart and circulation failures. This is in spite of the fact, that it is well known, that some of these people are born with "gland problems" and some have emotional issues that hinder their ability to do strenuous activities required to maintain a "healthy" weight. Nature refuses to recognize their plight and their right to be who they are. Others have had irresponsible parents who did not teach them proper eating habits. But again, Ms. Nature is unyielding in her pursuit to aware only the most physically fit people.

    This pressure from the USA to have Nature charged came from internal pressure from nearly every specialized group. The Homosexual community is in an uncommon uproar, are dramatically angry with the antics of Nature also. They blame an unbalanced number of AIDS cases effects the homosexual community. The "Friends Against Gross Injustice and Treatments" as they call themselves, contend that there is an 80% increased chance of getting the deadly disease if you are a promiscuous gay male over a traditionally married straight male. The gay community is also upset about the lack of fertility that is evident in their community. "It is astronomical how few pregnancies have resulted from gay sex", shreeks a group spokesman/ woman.

    Other accusation include the very young and very old being targeted by Nature during disease and Flu outbreaks. She has also been accused of animal cruelty. Encouraging everything from dog fights to the ripping apart of baby seals by polar bears.

    "Nature has just gone on long enough and it is time she answers for her tyranny. She has acted erratically and irresponsibly according to her own laws long enough. It is time she answers to 'Gods Laws'." Says and unnamed source from the former president Bush's justice department, speaking on condition of anonymity. "The Obama admiration should not talk to her, and should not rest, and we will call good American children to serve until nature is no longer a threat to our national security. We do not care what it takes, even if we have to violate every American and human right to see this 'war on nature' to its end." The current justice department is still poling to see what they should do.  They are leaning towards condemning the Bush's administration’s policies and following up by doing exactly the very thing they condemned.  But more discussion will have to transpire. 

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